


The Hardest Goodbye

by alessandralee



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Time Travel, Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-16
Updated: 2015-01-16
Packaged: 2018-03-07 13:57:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3175464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alessandralee/pseuds/alessandralee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Fitz considered all the dangers of building a time machine, falling in love never even crossed his mind.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Hardest Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Fitzward Appreciation day on tumblr.

“You can fit everything important in your life into one duffel bag?” Fitz remarks when Grant finally appears at the abandoned warehouse.

The other man looks down at the bag in his hands and shrugs, “It’s been a pretty unremarkable life… until a man from the future dropped into it.”

Fitz smiles to himself as she double check all the components to the time machine. He’s excited that Grant agreed to come home with him after just ten days of knowing each other, overjoyed really, but it wouldn’t do for a loose bolt to mess things up and send them too far forward in time.

Or just never rematerialize them at all.

Grant watches in silence, the corners of his mouth ticked up just the slightest bit. He’s still a bit amazed that Fitz actually wants to bring him to 2014. Actually, he’s amazed and shocked by all of this time travel stuff (a part of him still thinks it must be a very realistic dream) in general. But 2014 can’t be any worse than 1979, especially if it has Fitz.

Finally, the engineer deems the machine to be in working order. He opens its door and holds out a hand for Grant to take. Grant takes a step forward towards Fitz and his new future.

The time machine turns transparent.

Fitz catches it out of the corner of his eye and turns his head to look. He lifts his free hand towards the machine, and it passes right through it. He frowns.

Grant takes a step back, and the time machine solidifies. Forward again and it fades. He tries a few more times and steps back to his original position.

It doesn’t take much for it to click in both men’s heads what this means.

“But why?” Fitz’s voice breaks with distress.

This isn’t like the days prior, when Fitz was in danger of fading completely after he suggested to his mother (or the 20 year old Scottish exchange student who would eventually become his mother) that maybe that man she’s seeing (his future father, at least biologically) isn’t exactly the committed type.

He’d had to push her back into his arms, even though he knew how it would end.

Grant Ward shouldn’t affect the time machines. He’s a twenty-nine year old former marine. Fitz and Jemma built that thing on their own. There shouldn’t be any overlap.

But somehow, there is. There must be. This wouldn’t be happening otherwise.

“You need to go,” Grant says, the once hopeful look on his face gone. He’s resigned.

The timer on the machine turns on, counting down its final ten minutes in the past. With or without Fitz, it will return to 2014.

He’s pretty sure his heart is breaking. He’d never have thought he could grow to feel this strongly about someone in ten days, and he’d certainly never imagined that person could feel the same.

“I could stay,” he offers.

Grant shakes his head, “You have a life in the future, friends and family. I couldn’t do that to you or to them.”

Fitz pictures Jemma, waiting for him in their version of this warehouse. If he doesn’t come back, she’ll be distraught. She’ll assume something went wrong in their calculations and blame herself. He can’t do that to her.

But he can’t leave Grant either.

Sensing his indecision, Grant makes the call for him. He drops his bag, purposely strides forward, Grabs Fitz by the collar and kisses him.

The kiss is deep and passionate and sad. It’s a goodbye kiss, and they both know it. Still, Fitz holds onto Grant for dear life, determined to memorize every detail of this kiss. It’s the only thing he can bring back with him, soon enough it will be all he has.

The time machine starts beeping, an indication that Fitz needs to be inside it now. Ward pulls back, takes a loaded, longing look at Fitz and practically pushes him through the door.

Fitz watches through the window as the last ninety seconds count down. Grant looks back, never breaking his gaze. Then the warehouse, and Grant along with it, disappears.

An instant later it reappears filled with new technology but missing Grant.

Jemma tears open the time machine doors and Fitz falls against her.

“Did it work?” she asks, excited. “Did it work? I swear Fitz, these last sixty-five minutes have been the longest in my life.”

“It worked,” Fitz confirms and starts to cry.

“Are you hurt?” Jemma sounds panicked as she begins to check him for injuries.

“I’m fine,” he pulls her hands away from his body. “I just,” he searches for the words, “need to be alone right now.”

Jemma doesn’t press him any further; she just backs away and lets him leave the warehouse.

\--

The drive to Fitz’s apartment seems to take forever, but eventually his sitting in his desk chair.

If Grant was 29 in 1979, then right now he’d be 54. And Fitz is still 24. For all eh knows, Grant has moved on, gotten married, and has kids just a few years younger than Fitz. Regardless, he now has an extra 25 years of life experience that Fitz can’t relate to.

Still, Fitz needs to know here he is. He needs some sort of closure.

Once quick google search of “Grant Ward Newburyport MA” is all it takes. Fitz has his answer.

In 1985, Grant Ward married Raina Hadley, an heiress-cum-geneticist. They had no children, but poured a great deal of their wealth into the greater Boston area. That included founding a scholarship for women pursuing degrees in STEM fields at Fitz’s alma mater, Shield University. And that scholarship is what brought Jemma Simmons to the school.

That explains it. 

If Grant Ward didn’t marry Raina Hadley, there would be no STEM scholarship. Without that scholarship, Jemma probably would have gone to school elsewhere, never meeting Fitz. And without Jemma as his work partner, there be no time machine.

Fitz wants to cry again. He wants to cry and scream and track Grant down and just see him. It wouldn’t even be that hard. His friend Skye could get Grant’s address easily.

But he’s seen photos of Grant as he is now, photos that he looks happy in. He has a life and a spouse and he’s happy. Fitz shouldn’t interfere with that.

So he curls up in bed, determined to sleep until he feels better. It doesn’t quite work, but at least the weight in his chest feels bearable.


End file.
